Desperately crazy
by yur ma
Summary: In this story there is...... Lesbians' quadruplets, a possesed dog, an affair and the men of wisteria lane missing. r and r! I do not own any of the characters accept Gyle and Nary.....and maybe Jennifer. It may also contain George Clooney


Lynette Scavo looked out of her window to see a green moving in van. She was surprised to see a couple and five children carrying their stuff and chatting away to wards their front door. She and her friends went over to greet them. Just as they did Susan's new dog 'Toodle pip junior' started to bite her ankles.

'aaaaaaaaaahhhhh , get off me you son of a bitch, jeez you remind me of someone! Edie Britt, that's who!'

The other girls sniggered,

'yeah right Susan!'

But the dog continued his to attempt devour Susan's ankle. Suddenly the new neighbour with the rich chocolate hair and a t - shirt with the word MUSE on the front gave the dog a bruising slap.

'Keep down maggot!' She bellowed at the dog and it sat down .

'Thank you ' Susan gasped with relief. But staring into the woman's eyes caused Susan to shudder.

'Honey , who is it?' asked a woman with platinum blonde hair and designer glasses.

' Oh my God! You're Hannah Deacon, the world famous novelist!' gasped Bree.

' Me too!' a. The four friends and dog stared at the celebrity in awe. Hannah blushed and put her arm around the MUSE woman.

' Well actually I'm Hannah Ennis now!'

The women gaped at her.

'I used to be married to George Clooney you know,' she laughed. Her new neighbours were shocked. No one who marries George Clooney turns lesbian .

' Tell her how we met!' said her partner excitedly.

'Well , I was at a book signing , doing…. erm signing books , anyway as I was signing these books I suddenly became tearful as I saw this girl with a t - shirt saying AKURIN DIES! On it. I looked into her eyes and knew we were soul mates .''

'Lorien!' Yelled a young girl. ' Where's ma foookin' phone!'

Lorien blushed and handed over the phone.

'This is our eldest daughter Jennifer!'

Lynette winced. She had teenagers too and they never acted like that. Thank God.

'Where's The Quadruplets ?' Hannah said. Just at that moment a tall dirty blonde boy guy and a small ginger guy and two identical girls rushed out the door.

'MAAAAAAMMMYYY!' Nary keeps calling me Gyle of the gine gostages!' complained the tall boy.

'Excuse us' Hannah smiled apologetically and shoved her large family into their house.

'Nice , people , Hey Susan , maybe she can give you tips on being a better writer!'

Susan gave Gaby a shove. Toodle pip made another go at her ankles ,.

Meanwhile , It Seemed most men where missing in Wisteria lane .The only two who weren't were Bob and Lee. They used to be the towns' only gay couple until the Deacons(sorry Ennis!) came along.

'Susan, that dog seems to be giving me a dirty look!' Bob complained as he helped the women of wisteria lane search for their husbands, brothers and sons.

'OOOOh it's not fair! Lesbians! Everybody likes lesbian's!' Lee moaned and his partner Bob threw his arm around him.

'I don't' said Bree , 'I'm a republican!' Susan's dog began to howl uncontrollably.

'Oh my God your dog is right. Good work Edie junior!'

'Gaby ! Her name is Toodle Pip junior.'

'I know but a bitch can only be reincarnated as a bitch!'

'Uh Gaby , that bitch has a penis,' Bree said checking the dog's under parts!

'Moving swiftly on, what was the dog right about?" asked Susan.

Gaby pointed towards the new house and said 'What attracts guys the most?'

'Apple pie?' suggested Bree . They looked at her ,irritated. The dog the awkward silence as a chance to excrete in Bree's shrubbery.

'Follow me , biatches and dog!' Gaby marched right over to the house. She shakes the backyard fence. She can hear low toned and gruff grunts and protests behind the fence.

'Let me ask you again. What do guys like ?'Gaby asked as she ripped the fence off and groups of men appeared trying to watch Hannah and Lorien in their bedroom through the window.

They spotted the albino Dave and Toodle pip junior made a dash for his nuts.

'Aaaaaaaaaaooooooooowwwww!', He screamed trying to pull the canine beast off his crotch.

'Jeez.', said Gabrielle, 'It really is Edie, reincarnated as a male dog , who knew.'

The crowd gave the dog a sideward glance and nodded. 'Am I the only one turned on by this?',

Asked Lee. Susan was about to reply when a voice came out from the window the men were staring into,

'That's it Hannah , I am not taking this anymore , I'm leaving!'

'But Lorien ……….!'

'I am sick of moving every time you feel like it and looking after YOUR kids while you go to your

Book signings.'

'But….'

'And don't get me started with George Clooney. His smug , stupid face-paying for your book tours but where is he when it comes to the children.'

'What a selfish bastard.',

See the next chapter to find out the exciting conclusion of this argument.

WARNING: NO DOGS OR LESBIANS WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS STORY!


End file.
